It would be so much easier if i had a tablet..

It's Happening!

i'm already slacking off in school.. YIKES!

i've taken 2 tests this week

(i don't think i did too well on them..)

and i have one more to go :P

blahhh all i want to do is play play play!

i can't wait till it gets warmer so i can start making trips to the beach again..

growing up..

whoaa it's been a week since i've last wrote in this thing.

hmm what's new..

well the biggest change in the past week is that i turned

t w e n t y !

i think my 20th birthday was the best birthday i've had so far.

i basically celebrated my birthday for a full 24 hrs (if not a little more)

It started at 10pm on thursday and carried on until early saturday morning. 

thank you <3>

- those of you that texted/facebooked me birthday wishes!

- those of you who treated me to a birthday ______.

- those of you who surprised me and pitched in and helped with the cute decorations :)

- EVERYONE for making me feel special for a day haha

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what an awkward age to be.. not yet a legal adult but no longer a "teenager". i definitely don't feel my age. It's scary to think that the decade ahead will probably bring changes that i can't even imagine right now. Who knows where i'll be and what i'll be doing in 5 or 10 years. i feel lost.. like i'm just  wasting my time in all my classes.. i'm not even sure what i'm working towards anymore. I've probably said this before.. but the world of art is so risky and complex. I'm starting to question if it'll all be worth it in the end.. I wish i had some time to figure things out, to figure myself out. What i really want to do right now is travel, to take a break from school. I want to get out of the states and explore. I want to be entirely submerged in a different culture or place.. even if it's something as familiar as taiwan. time is the problem. Michelle and i were having one of our long talks about life again and we realized how much things can change within a year. We used to be so carefree. I remember the summer after senior year, and freshman year in college. We all had so much time on our hands. We traveled the distance just to try out a new place to eat, went to the beach more than we ever studied, hung out all the time as if each day was a saturday, stayed up all night without worrying about the things to come the next day, went on spontaneous trips to LA, spent money as if bills did not exist, had a good balance of time with our families, friends, church and school... what happened to that? Within ONE year so many things have changed. Within a year we made new friends, got jobs, been meeting deadline after deadline at school, found ourselves trying to squeeze in time in our hectic schedules for family and friends, managed to find ourselves broke and sometimes even in debt a good handful of times, and on top of everything, we found ourselves so sleep deprived to even function correctly. If this is what it is to grow up.. i don't want to grow up anymore! blah

YAWWWWN

i am so freakin tired and i have no idea why..

i went to sleep at 2 or 3AM and woke up at 10:00AM

so it's not really much different from any other day.

i feel like if i closed my eyes for a minute i would just knock out -.-

besides my unusual sleepiness..

today we sort of learned the basics to kick boxing in cardio class

now i know that i will never be a good fighter :(

i kept pointing my feet instead of flexing them when we did kicks..

and i always forget to "protect my face"

and i have a big feeling that i'm not even doing the punching right.

..ZzzZzZzz..

I've been getting really emotional lately

which probably means im PMSing..

PMSing for me =

too much thinking

random surges of fury

states of sadness and sulking

and lots and lots of eating

i feel like a bottomless pit.

we made a trip to Downtown LA last night

and had some delicousss korean BBQ

and even though we ate SO MUCH MEAT

i felt like i ate nothing  ._.

i didn't feel disgustingly full until later in the night.

I hope this doesn't offend anyone..

I officially dropped my philosophy class.

I went into the course thinking i could just BS my way through, you know?

I told myself that i would just suck it up and attempt to learn the material whether i was interested or not..

But after our 2nd lecture i realized that philosophy just wasn't for me.

I found myself on the verge of laughing at some of the concepts he was lecturing about and feeling like i was listening to a crazy man talk..

I don't know, i just feel like taking philosophy is a waste of my time..

I don't want to spend my time learning concepts/theories/ideas that are clearly dumb.

Philosophy is such an ironic subject.. 

when you think of philosophy you usually think of  knowledge,

reasoning, and "great thinkers".

i think they thought a little too much.

their explanations for reality and existence were just so far-fetched that it was hard to believe someone could actually consider some of the material to be deep and intellectual.

Don't get me wrong, i commend the philosopher's back then for attempting to rationalize the world and other things.. but you have to admit that some of them were kind of lost..

BAH hopefully i can find something else to take later

I'M HUNGRYYYYY

For some reason, we usually have our tv on turned to the foodnetwork at night (whether we're watching it or not). This is a really bad habit because I don't know about you, but the foodnetwork never fails to make me hungry or at least crave something. Ever since i came back to school i have been finding myself STARVING at night because of this :(  You would think that i would just turn it off but for some reason i never do.. maybe i subconsciously like to tempt and torture myself.  As of right now i'm craving Mimi's spinach and artichoke dip, pot stickers, and chicken wings lol thanks to Unwrapped.

Painin'

i feel like my whole body is sore!

the other day it got to the point where i felt like i was handicapped 

cause my thighs were so sore. 

at first i was sore from going to the gym

then i was sore from our first real cardio class session

and NOW i'm sore from going snowboarding..

i feel like i have just started a never ending cycle of pain

because by the time i recover from snowboarding,

it'll probably be tuesday which means cardio class again (-_-!)

michelle and i have cardio every tuesday and thursday morning.

it is nothing like we thought it would be :P

unlike any P.E class you've ever taken, our professor is actually serious about working out

which, despite our pain and suffering, is actually a really good thing lol i think it'll be good for us in the long run. I just wish the aftermath of working out wasn't so painful..