Queen of Procrastination

i am never going to procrastinate like that again.

i started my art project at 12AM today

(it was due at 1PM)

i worked straight until 8AM

and let me tell you.. it was HORRIBLE!

i was so unmotivated and tired

not to mention frustrated cause i knew i wasn't doing my best..

the point is thank goodness that's over with

and here i go again babbling about my art projects..

let's balance this out with something else

5 songs that are generally overplayed on my ipod

(that i don't think i'll ever get sick of)

1. The First Single - The Format

2. Heartbreaker - Will.i.Am

3. Say (All i Need) - OneRepublic

4. Trust Me- The Fray

5. Already Gone - Kelly Clarkson <-- as of last night or.. this morning..

strangely happy :)

Despite the fact that i had a huge project due this week, this week actually went by pretty fast! i wonder if it's cause i kept myself busy.. who knows. This week has also been (dare i say) A PRETTY GOOD WEEK!! ....i know right! whaaaaat? I really don't understand it.. but THANK THE LORD! i do feel like there is a catch to my happiness though O.o because honestly this is the FIRST good week that i have had all semester (6 weeks so far). In fact, today i even found the most comfortable pair of moccasins ever! wait there's more.. they were on sale!! i SAVED $32 :D I also found a pretty pair of earrings and nice shorts. Although i went on a mini shopping spree, i still have money!! Which is SUPER RARE for me cause I usually have $10-zero dollars on me by Friday :P I really hope there is no catch to this week of goodness.. Of course there was more to it than shopping today but i don't want to bore you with details. Now that i think about it, it's kind of sad how i am not used to feeling happy anymore -.- shhh dont tell anyone but.. i've been in such a good mood lately that i feel motivated to work on my art homework E A R L Y O.O

time for the rebirth of my blogger

As some of you may already know, i worked on my art project for TEN hours last night (oh my gahhh) i must say, i hate working with glue sticks -. - the glue just dries so fast (it isn't the most reliable adhesive either) OH and i hate how it manages to get all over your finger tips and you start accumulating the paper color and dust on them which makes you leave ugly irreversible stains on your work! -sigh- okay im done with that.

------

I hate how my blog is mainly used for venting negativity about my:

- art projects

- stress

- sleep deprivation

- random surges of depression

- life in general..

but where else would i take all this to..?

i think i just got comfortable with the fact that, within this magical little page, i can say whatever i want without directly telling anyone. Of course i am aware that there might be people who wander in and out of here occasionally but thats what makes it interesting! You never know who will read your entry! Infact.. (there's always the slightest chance that the people you refer to will stumble across these things.. ) whether that's good or bad is up to you ;)

but yes, back to what i was saying..

i need to balance all this negativity with some.. positivity..?

i think it's time to revamp this tired blog of mine!

It would be so much easier if i had a tablet..

It's Happening!

i'm already slacking off in school.. YIKES!

i've taken 2 tests this week

(i don't think i did too well on them..)

and i have one more to go :P

blahhh all i want to do is play play play!

i can't wait till it gets warmer so i can start making trips to the beach again..

growing up..

whoaa it's been a week since i've last wrote in this thing.

hmm what's new..

well the biggest change in the past week is that i turned

t w e n t y !

i think my 20th birthday was the best birthday i've had so far.

i basically celebrated my birthday for a full 24 hrs (if not a little more)

It started at 10pm on thursday and carried on until early saturday morning. 

thank you <3>

- those of you that texted/facebooked me birthday wishes!

- those of you who treated me to a birthday ______.

- those of you who surprised me and pitched in and helped with the cute decorations :)

- EVERYONE for making me feel special for a day haha

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what an awkward age to be.. not yet a legal adult but no longer a "teenager". i definitely don't feel my age. It's scary to think that the decade ahead will probably bring changes that i can't even imagine right now. Who knows where i'll be and what i'll be doing in 5 or 10 years. i feel lost.. like i'm just  wasting my time in all my classes.. i'm not even sure what i'm working towards anymore. I've probably said this before.. but the world of art is so risky and complex. I'm starting to question if it'll all be worth it in the end.. I wish i had some time to figure things out, to figure myself out. What i really want to do right now is travel, to take a break from school. I want to get out of the states and explore. I want to be entirely submerged in a different culture or place.. even if it's something as familiar as taiwan. time is the problem. Michelle and i were having one of our long talks about life again and we realized how much things can change within a year. We used to be so carefree. I remember the summer after senior year, and freshman year in college. We all had so much time on our hands. We traveled the distance just to try out a new place to eat, went to the beach more than we ever studied, hung out all the time as if each day was a saturday, stayed up all night without worrying about the things to come the next day, went on spontaneous trips to LA, spent money as if bills did not exist, had a good balance of time with our families, friends, church and school... what happened to that? Within ONE year so many things have changed. Within a year we made new friends, got jobs, been meeting deadline after deadline at school, found ourselves trying to squeeze in time in our hectic schedules for family and friends, managed to find ourselves broke and sometimes even in debt a good handful of times, and on top of everything, we found ourselves so sleep deprived to even function correctly. If this is what it is to grow up.. i don't want to grow up anymore! blah

YAWWWWN

i am so freakin tired and i have no idea why..

i went to sleep at 2 or 3AM and woke up at 10:00AM

so it's not really much different from any other day.

i feel like if i closed my eyes for a minute i would just knock out -.-

besides my unusual sleepiness..

today we sort of learned the basics to kick boxing in cardio class

now i know that i will never be a good fighter :(

i kept pointing my feet instead of flexing them when we did kicks..

and i always forget to "protect my face"

and i have a big feeling that i'm not even doing the punching right.

..ZzzZzZzz..

I've been getting really emotional lately

which probably means im PMSing..

PMSing for me =

too much thinking

random surges of fury

states of sadness and sulking

and lots and lots of eating

i feel like a bottomless pit.

we made a trip to Downtown LA last night

and had some delicousss korean BBQ

and even though we ate SO MUCH MEAT

i felt like i ate nothing  ._.

i didn't feel disgustingly full until later in the night.

I hope this doesn't offend anyone..

I officially dropped my philosophy class.

I went into the course thinking i could just BS my way through, you know?

I told myself that i would just suck it up and attempt to learn the material whether i was interested or not..

But after our 2nd lecture i realized that philosophy just wasn't for me.

I found myself on the verge of laughing at some of the concepts he was lecturing about and feeling like i was listening to a crazy man talk..

I don't know, i just feel like taking philosophy is a waste of my time..

I don't want to spend my time learning concepts/theories/ideas that are clearly dumb.

Philosophy is such an ironic subject.. 

when you think of philosophy you usually think of  knowledge,

reasoning, and "great thinkers".

i think they thought a little too much.

their explanations for reality and existence were just so far-fetched that it was hard to believe someone could actually consider some of the material to be deep and intellectual.

Don't get me wrong, i commend the philosopher's back then for attempting to rationalize the world and other things.. but you have to admit that some of them were kind of lost..

BAH hopefully i can find something else to take later

I'M HUNGRYYYYY

For some reason, we usually have our tv on turned to the foodnetwork at night (whether we're watching it or not). This is a really bad habit because I don't know about you, but the foodnetwork never fails to make me hungry or at least crave something. Ever since i came back to school i have been finding myself STARVING at night because of this :(  You would think that i would just turn it off but for some reason i never do.. maybe i subconsciously like to tempt and torture myself.  As of right now i'm craving Mimi's spinach and artichoke dip, pot stickers, and chicken wings lol thanks to Unwrapped.

Painin'

i feel like my whole body is sore!

the other day it got to the point where i felt like i was handicapped 

cause my thighs were so sore. 

at first i was sore from going to the gym

then i was sore from our first real cardio class session

and NOW i'm sore from going snowboarding..

i feel like i have just started a never ending cycle of pain

because by the time i recover from snowboarding,

it'll probably be tuesday which means cardio class again (-_-!)

michelle and i have cardio every tuesday and thursday morning.

it is nothing like we thought it would be :P

unlike any P.E class you've ever taken, our professor is actually serious about working out

which, despite our pain and suffering, is actually a really good thing lol i think it'll be good for us in the long run. I just wish the aftermath of working out wasn't so painful.. 

Back to School

I almost forgot how nice the weather is over here in Long beach. I love how sunny and clear it has been. It's actually pretty chilly though despite how bright and sunny it is outside.. i guess that's just how winter is in california. lol As of today, i have officially attended all my classes at least once. I was pretty nervous coming back to school because i decided to attempt taking 16 units instead of my usual 12. So far everything has been pretty much been a blur. I feel like there are so many things that i need to do and know. (honestly i don't feel prepared for this semester at all) I really should read over each syllabus for all my classes so maybe i'll know what i'm doing and what i should expect. One good thing about this semester is that since my schedule starts at 11:00AM each day, i sorta get to sleep in each morning :)  The bad thing is that most of my classes are at the opposite ends of the campus.. ESPECIALLY my morning classes which means there will be lots of power walking for me :( 

Farewell Winter Break

I cant believe it is towards the end of January already. I could've sworn we just celebrated the new year o.O -sigh- unfortunately school starts on monday. Part of me KIND OF wants to go back.. but then i remember all the projects and sleep deprivation that comes with classes.. booo.. it's Saturday night which means i'm going back to LB tomorrow. I haven't started packing yet. I've been waiting till the last minute to do it cause packing = the OFFICIAL END OF BREAK. I feel like i have so much stuff to take back but i think it's mostly clothes and snacks haha. I really hope there isn't a family of spiders waiting for us back in the dorms. Michelle and i agreed that the first thing we're going to do when we get back is bug proof our window again! Anyways, i should get packing..  goodbye LaLa Land :(

Voluntary Alarm Clocks

Since last week, i've been oh so lucky to have been living in (what i think is) the telemarketers' favorite household. In fact, i think both my house and cell phone numbers are just such a delight to dial because not only do i get a plethora of house calls from telemarketers, but i also receive a cornucopia of calls on my cell phone from wrong numbers. What i think is most amazing though, is how i receive all these phone calls so consistently early on weekday mornings. Usually they call somewhere around 8AM or 9AM. I don't know why, they never call on weekends or past 10:30AM. I guess they just feel like volunteering to be my personal alarm clocks. I mean, either dialing my phone numbers just tickles their fancy or they must know that nothing wakes me up more effectively than my house phone ringtone. 

If you are reading this,

and you feel that you have the same love for phone numbers..

OR if you are feeling like you just need someone to bother someone

bright and early in the morning..

please, feel free to dial these happy numbers. 

716.656.6677

469.201.4312

866.315.8139

My Friend Jim

My winter break is coming to an end!! This is officially my LAST week of relaxation! After this week it's back to school for me :(  which means I'll be going back to non-stop art project deadlines again. Hooorayyyy. Winter break always goes by so quickly, even though Long Beach has one of the longest winter breaks ever lol Anyways, i think i did pretty well with my whole winter break to-do list. I didn't get to do everything i wrote down but i guess i'm satisfied. I actually went to the gym a lot over break! I'm happy cause the clothes that were too tight on me and couldn't wear anymore are actually loose on me now! Fitting into my old clothes is my greatest accomplishment of 2009 so far :P  YAY!

Happy Birthday Michelle

i feel like we ate all day

which we technically did..

we all met at michelle's house and had

cupcakes and pizza for lunch

when the boys left we drove to a cafe in LA and had

ice cream waffle and a gigantic smoothie

then we visited her mother

she took us to another cafe and we had

spaghetti, beef and spinach salad, and another dessert

basically the only times we weren't eating 

was when we were driving from place to place

hahaha so basically...

michelle ate all day on her birthday

infact, on the way home we realized that she was driving home

to eat dinner! (again)

I almost forgot how good chocolate is

i realized that i haven't had chocolate in a while so..

i made chocolate dipped strawberries today!

YUMMMMMMMMY

chocolate tastes extra good when you're on your you know what ;)

anyways, i haven't spent ANY money all week!

yes, i know it's only tuesday.. but STILL!

i only have $35.98 left in my debit account (-_-!)

so i'm really anticipating chinese new year

which i believe should be coming up soon.. i hope..

side note:

i noticed that there has been ALOT more people going to the gym lately.

it has been ridiculously crowded and i'm not sure why.

maybe alot of people made resolutions to get in shape this year lol

Speaking of Creepy..

at 9:00pm i was on my way to the gym and as i was driving out of my street i noticed that all the cars had their high beams on. I was wondering why everyone was using their high beams when it wasn't even that foggy outside.. it made me feel kinda weird.. Then as i got to the light on Azusa/Colima i noticed that the 76 gas station on Azusa was completely dark and empty so i thought maybe they're doing some sort of maintenance or reconstruction, after all, there was a huge oil tanker truck parked in the lot.. but then i looked across the street and saw that Mobile was also completely dark and empty! It looked so creepy! Then i made a right onto colima and i noticed that the street was a lot darker than usual and that the mall was completely dark too! I guess the earthquake messed with the electricity on that block. It was so eerie seeing everything so deserted and pitch black. I felt like i was driving around in some scary apocalyptic film. Even the 99 Ranch plaza was out. I wonder how far the power went out on Colima.. 

p.s i made my first dark painting today

i needed to cover up an unfinished ugly painting i did a while ago

so i did this

i think im going to put a towel over it before i go to bed..

I love Winter Break

so far i have..

- had a day to myself

- re-dyed my hair

- ate at Wako

- baked cookies

- went to the gym as much as possible

so I think I'm doing pretty good, 

as far as the whole winter break to do list is going :)

I'm so scared that the break will just fly by quickly

so I'm trying not to wake up that late

and I always make sure I'm getting the most out of my days haha

anyways, i should stop rubbing it in..

for those of you who have already started school

on a different note,

ever since sunday, i've been scared to go to sleep

i know how stupid that sounds but seriously..

ever since michelle told me her freaky spiritual stories

i've been having these weird pictures in my mind

of some freaky man or some ghastly looking girl 

hovering over me..

sleeping = the chance of having nightmares with them in it.

sleeping = the chance of having another one of those freaky scissor locks. 

GAH! this is why i try to stay away from horror films and scary crap.

It seriously never leaves my brain.

I mean I even still get scared by the random clips from Sixth Sense

that i watched like WAY BACK WHEN when it first came out.

bleh.. i just need to try to occupy my mind with something else..

Things To Do During Winter Break:

1. have a day to myself

2. clean out my closet

3. donate or sell my unwanted clothing

4. get a haircut

5. re-dye my hair

6. renew my passport (maybe)

7. go to americana/glendale galleria

8. eat at Pinks and Wako cause i miss those two the most

9. go on a photo trip

10. bake cupcakes and cookies

11. go to the gym as much as possible

12. korean bbq

13. celebrate Michelle's birthday

14. either attempt to sell some of my art or find a place to store it

i must say.. that is pretty ambitious

but then again i have till the 26th  :)

Hello 2009

Only a half an hour left until new years day is over and 2009 will have officially started (or at least in my mind). I feel like i should kick off the new year with some resolutions. I haven't really had the time to stop and think about anything. Ever since the day after christmas,  i have been going from one event to another. Before the hustle and bustle of the holidays, i had a few resolutions in mind but now I'm not sure if thats exactly what i want. I feel kinda silly and overdramatic about the whole resolution thing this year but i think i want to make some sort of promise and actually try my best to keep it for the whole year. I don't think i have ever kept my resolutions in the past. Actually, i don't even remember the last time i made a resolution. yikes. 

This year I will promise:

1. to keep all the promises i make

2. to look forward more than i look back

3. to (try to) learn how to forgive with a humble heart

4. to (try to) remember to be the "salt" and "light" of the earth

5. to be healthier by exercising regularly and drinking water (-_-!)