i decided to bake today

Here's to 'Never Say Never'

I've always been scared of roller coasters. It's not the height or loops that scare me, it's the feeling i get in my stomach when dropping that i dread. A couple years ago, i went to Knott's and freaked myself out on a couple rides. I told myself that would be the last time i rode roller coasters like that but somehow, today, i found myself standing in lines for rides that i told myself i would never ride again -.- We started off on the wimpy rides like big foot rapids, pony express, jaguar, and even those little sombrero teacup rides haha i eventually started wanting to feel that dropping feeling in my stomach, after all i haven't been on a real coaster in a while. So i agreed to go on BoomerRang with them and i ended up sitting on the last cart. Oh my gahhh i was freaking out when we got to the top of the slope and i was facing straight down waiting for the fall. Surprisingly the ride wasn't as bad as i anticipated it to be and what was even more shocking is that i wanted to feel that drop feeling again. i know right.. WHAT ZE HECK?! i went from fearing and completely dreading that feeling to actually being curious and wanting to experience it again. It's kinda like ultraviolet bug zapper lights and mosquitos.. even though there are consequences they always seem to go back to it. I don't even know if that was a good analogy for what im describing.. lol ignore that.. As i was saying, there was something different about it this time. I felt so alive. (as cheesy and lame as that sounds) and the thrill of it was just so addicting =X I ended the night with 2 rounds of silver bullet and a big bowl of shaved ice. In conclusion, i learned that setting limits for what i can/can not do only makes me miss out on things, trying things out more than once is necessary, and loops and twists on coasters are way less scary than they appear to be :)

Chillin' like a Villian

Wow, it's been a whole week since i've written in here. I guess this week flew by pretty fast. It's kinda strange how i still feel productive even though i am jobless and not taking any classes. (oh yes if you did not know already, i wasn't able to add into any classes at Mt. Sac T_T) I am the ultimate summer bum and it feels so goooooood :) haha I do feel extremely guilty though because i'm not used to being free.. infact i always think im going to enter a stage of suffering soon just because i've been having it easy :P So what have i been doing lately you might ask? Hanging out with my friendsies, cleaning out my room, watching movies, working on the iphone game graphics, going to the gym occasionally, being my cousin's chauffeur, spending time with family, enjoying the house to myself, etc. It feels really nice not having a weekly set schedule. -sigh- if only life was always like this.. I better enjoy it while it lasts.

Progress

I'm not sure if i've mentioned my "side job" here before so incase i didn't.. Basically a game programer asked me if i was interested in making the graphics for an iphone game he had in mind. I told him i was interested so we started collaborating a round a month ago. The thing is... I actually wasn't really interested in the type of game he was making which was kind of like a "whack-a-mole" type of thing but with a hamster character instead. I was extremely unmotivated to work on it (cause i wasn't too thrilled about the game concept) which led to procrastination at it's worst =X So yesterday i emailed him and attached a few of my sketches in attempt to pitch a different game idea to him and it turns out.... he liked it! :) So now we are back to square one but this time i am much more excited to work on it! I can't exactly tell you the concept yet but i'll probably write about it in an entry sooner or later. Hopefully this all works out!

Side Note:

i've been wanting to make friendship bracelets since December and we finally got to make them today! Each of us chose a packet of charms and then we traded with each other so that our bracelets would all look different but they would all be similar. I chose this packet of key charms, michelle chose stars, and jennifer chose heart lockets. I really hope they're durable haha

Should i keep dying my hair brown?

or..

Should i go back to my natural hair color; black ?

i've been seriously debating about this for a while now.

i can't seem to decide.

'Hate' Is Such A Strong Word But 'Dislike' Sounds Too Prissy

I hate it when people are transparent.

I take that back.

I hate it when i can see what people are really thinking.

Wait, that's basically the same thing..

I hate it when people say what they don't mean.

ah, there we go..

I hate it when people do things just for the attention or reaction they're hoping for.

but then again, we all subconsciously do that from time to time.. It's so annoying though when you're on the other side of it!

I hate it when people victimize themselves.

There really is no point in feeling sorry for yourself or trying to make others feel sorry for you. It happened. It sucked. You learn. You move on forward.

I hate it when people float around in the river of denial and refuse to admit.

People are not as dumb as they sometimes appear to be.

I really hate that this post is so cynical.

I should really stop sleeping so late.

Our minds can be so deceiving..

A Taste of Freedom

So i've been back for almost a week now. I think the foreign idea of actually taking a break and enjoying myself is finally starting to set in. It feels nice to be able to sleep in and wake up having the luxury of just laying there and letting my mind wander to who knows where.. -sigh- Just when i thought i had my summer perfectly planned out, i feel as if a rug has been pulled out from underneath me. And for this i have no one to blame but me and my wishful thinking. My summer plans basically revolved around my working schedule (which would be MWF or M-W 8AM-5PM). Since the summer classes that i wanted to take conflicted with my work schedule i conveniently told myself that i would just focus on work and have fun on my days off. So even before i called in to let them know that i was thinking about coming back this summer to work, i totally disregarded all the summer session applications and notices; after-all, last summer the art director did say that i could come back anytime i was free to work again. so dumb of me to rely on that T_T I called in on Monday and john (Mr. art director man) said he'd have to call me back because he needed time to figure out where he could put me because all the desks were full. Nooooooo. He finally called me back today and said that there was no way they could make more desk room so even if he wanted me to come back, there was nothing he could do about it :[ Although i am disappointed in the fact that i am joblessness, with out a class to take, goal-less, basically a nasty summer bum.. i am not as worried or sad about it as i might sound :P I mean i guess it's for the better. I shouldn't get used to things like awesome summer internships just being basically handed to me. I need to work harder towards what i want so i don't take things for granted and i need to have back up plans because things don't always follow through like i imagine them to. So what now you might ask? Good question.

Home

It feels good to be back. Don't get me wrong, i loved my two week getaway but it feels nice to be back in california with the things i'm familiar with. I came back home to find new furniture! It turns out my mother went to an art/furniture auction. She bought a vanity with a matching chair, a cabinet thingy (i'm not quite sure what it's called) with a matching stool, and three cute, fat frogs for the patio. Apparently she wants to redecorate the house and rearrange some of the furniture. I was hoping she wouldn't say anything about my room but surprise, surprise.. she did -.- she expects me to clean it out this week to get rid of things i don't want anymore which i guess will be good for me and my closet sized room. Maybe i can clean out my room and convince my mom to buy a pretty vanity for me too haha

did i mention that i have the biggest/ugliest bug bite on my elbow? D:

it grosses me out when i feel it over my clothes or see it protruding from my arm

i thought i came out of taiwan victorious with ZERO mosquito bites

but i guess some jerk bit me on the last day T_T